30 days and each day harder then the last. I'm consumed every minute of the day trying to wrap my head around how and why this had to happen to my boy. And no matter how I spin it, the end result is senseless and tragic. Stacey and I didn't deserve this. His brother and sister didn't deserve this. His family and friends didn't deserve this. DANIEL DEFINITELY DIDN'T DESERVE THIS!! And I'm saddened on so many levels knowing that the days, months and years ahead are only going to get harder. There will be outrageous lies and factual truths and everything in between. For those that really knew Daniel and shared in his glorious life, they will be able to identify fact from fiction.
I want to share a story about Daniel that I've only told a few people about. Last summer he came to live with Lisa and I. He did this to not only visit us but to work for me and save some money. His biggest goal last summer was to save up enough money to work and visit his girlfriend Therese who lives in Norway. I was very proud at how hard and diligently he worked. That winter he lived in Norway for 3 months and I was very happy he finally accomplished one of his goals.
One morning Daniel got up early and walked roughly 5 blocks to the corner store. He did this to buy his smokes (which he knew I hated). Half way there you walk past the RCMP Detachment. At that time there were 2 guys who had just been released from the drunk tank. Rather then crossing the road and avoiding a potential confrontation, he walked right by them and they asked him for a smoke. After a little chat, Daniel left there less a few cigarettes and $5. He told me about this the next day as we were driving to work. Lac La Biche has a reputation of a rough town and Daniel knew this.
I told Daniel that he needed to be careful and that he was better off crossing the road and avoiding such a confrontation. I'll never forget what he told me..."Dad, how can you be so cruel?" I was taken aback by this. I told him that he needs to be careful and that his honest intentions are not always shared by strangers. He then told me..."I'm not like you dad, you're too cynical?"
That 2 minute conversation has really stuck with me the past 3 weeks. All I wanted to do was protect my boy. I wanted him to be safe and not so trusting and naive. And I can't help but think his trusting nature made him an unfortunate victim. If only he was more cynical. But Daniel wasn't these things. He was loving and honest. He was trusting and genuine. He always saw the good in people and never judged them harshly. To those who didn't know him would think this is too far fetched to be true. After all, any parent would say that about their child. But for those who knew him, they know I speak the truth. More people need to be like him. I need to be more like him. I'm blessed to have Daniel as my son and my heart will forever ache.
I miss you so much Daniel Jordan Levesque!!
Your Dad
