For those who didn't know Daniel well, he was very non materialistic in a lot of ways. He didn't like the "hoopla" of marketing. He didn't like how commercialism kind of took away from what really mattered in most holidays. I can almost hear him now getting up on his soap box and preaching about how silly it is to pick a special day to appreciate all the moms in the world because "we should appreciate them everyday!!", he would say in his strong , lecture voice. haha ... his friends who read this will know exactly what I am talking about.
But the true fact was, Daniel was a big mush pot when it came to me. And contrary to how I may have come across in my last post...Daniel did love me very much. I knew it, he always told me.
(NOTE: I was super angry last time I posted and what I was really trying to get across was the fact that I am having a really hard time with my OWN regret and shame, not that Daniel EVER made me feel badly. His love for me was unconditional, I just look back now and wish things had gone smoother in our sometimes chaotic life together)
Anyway, Daniel did love Mother's Day....Last year I received from him the most beautiful gift. He asked to spend some time with me that day. We had a short visit because we both worked but he sat in my car and he handed me a small piece of paper, all folded up perfectly. It looked like a note you would pass in class (not that I ever did that haha). He said to me "Mum, I love you so much, and it doesn't take a day that some earthly greeting card maker made up to tell you. I wanted to get you something you would treasure. So I wrote you a poem. Plus...I am kinda broke :) "
Well...that poem. It took me a day or so to read it if you can believe. I knew I would cry, and I did. And he was right, I do treasure it. And always will. This is the poem.
Mother
Like the moon decides, ocean tides
So a mother creates the character of "I"
My Mum's sweet love has made me a man
I was cherished from the day I was held in hand.
To my Mum I owe strength, wisdom and love
and the knowledge of God and Heaven above
Though our view of the world may differ or vary,
I will always have my mother to care for me
Beautiful words from a beautiful child. He sums us up perfectly, and indeed a bit prophetic. It was just like all the stars were aligning, even then, the end was so near. Neither of us knew it...but we almost did.
Daniel's good friend Jackson had those words, in Daniel's replicated handwriting tattooed on his side. It's beautiful and so touching.
It makes me so happy to see how much all of Daniel's friends love their mothers. It's so obvious. They make no secret of it, and that's just as it should be.
So many of them even messaged me or called today, knowing how much it would mean to me, and to him. They really are an amazing bunch of young people. I am so blessed.
To all of the other mothers who are living through Mother's Day with a baby in heaven, God bless you. It's not the same....our hearts are not yet healed and this " earthly greeting card maker's" idea of a special day for us, is just another reminder of how much we wish we could turn back time, and relive last May, because our life was a lot less broken then....
