Happy Birthday Nikki

For Nikki

Daniel and Nikki have known each other since they were very small.  Their birthdays are so close in days that we often had to discuss who was doing what on what day so no one would ever have to choose whose birthday to attend because...who could choose between these two????  Both have loving free and artistic spirits.  Both are wise and thoughtful souls....and no matter what time passed between them, they would always reconnect in some way.  They grounded each other...they were best friends.

I was fortunate enough to have an amazing visit with Nikki just shortly after her and her boyfriend Riley's return from Europe just a few short weeks ago.
Nikki shared some wonderful memories with me.  Both in spoken word and even some in print.  For she was amazing enough to have printed off some conversations her and Daniel had, while reconnecting on more than one occasion.   Along with some heart searchingly poetic "Daniel-speak", She also shared a poem he wrote for her (albeit edited for grandparents eyes)

It's as beautiful as she is...and the world should know it...and know her.

i guess i'm just sarcasm bound safely in sincerity

i convey the words and add sound so people hear me

and i'm as lost as any other of my finally found brothers

i wouldn't replace any of them for anyone, 

no others could compare to the friends i've got.......

but there's one special lady, god i love her like crazy

who's always got my back, despite all the wack

shit i've done, run straight back, she's the one

its miraculous the spectacular spirit of this Achilles girl

so this one's especially for you, look i finally did it

this is finally the song you've deserved and now you get it

when you're this emotional, like a roller coaster or an anti soldier

you need the kinda people stable, you can hold onto like a boulder

so when you find those giving ones, who never ask for any return

well it matters and lifts the whole weight of the world

you keep them close to your heart, but closer to your soul

even if sometimes you end up acting like a complete a**hole

but if they love you like they say they do,

then they know that's gonna happen too

and they wont ever spit at you or get picky

so i know when i feel like sh*t

and honestly just want to quit,

i think of the best friend i've ever had, that's you Nikki

I don't know if everyone can appreciate these words but what he was saying was that Nikki's friendship endured all things.  She loved him no matter what he did, who he was...and no matter how imperfect he felt, she never judged...just offered her loving words and encouragement, believe me,Daniel didn't feel completely understood by many people in his life....

Thank you Nikki, for loving this boy "who thinks in song".  His care, respect and admiration for you was never ending.  Your talent and "spectacular spirit" made his life richer.  Thank you for showing him how to be "light" and to embrace his flaws and face his demons.  He felt safe and not judged by you....a gift so rare in friendship.

You truly were his boulder.  And your painting of Daniel, I will proudly hang in my home forever.

Happy twenty first sweetie xo

News Results for Josh Bredo aka Josh Baba son of Karen Baba in Okotoks Alberta

A former Prince George man with a shady history is the key suspect in the stabbing death of a 20-year-old man in Victoria, according to two B.C. media outlets.
The Victoria Times-Colonist and Vancouver Sun have reported Joshua Tyler Bredo aka Joshua Baba aka Josh Chartier aka Josh Mitchell, 26, is the key suspect in the death of Daniel Jordan Levesque, 20, of Saanich. The newspapers did not cite the source of their information.

The Victoria Police Department confirmed they have a 26-year-old man in custody regarding the case, but had not laid charges as of press time. Police report the suspect is expected to appear in court on Aug. 18.

Police were called to an apartment in the 700-block of Cormorant Street in Victoria on Wednesday shortly after 5 p.m. There, police found Levesque and the suspect both suffering from stab wounds.

Levesque was in critical condition and died at Victoria General Hospital. The suspect was treated at the hospital for serious injuries and released into police custody Wednesday night.

Calls to Bredo’s family in Prince George were not returned as of press time. However, one family member, who agreed to speak anonymously, said Bredo has been estranged from his family for years.

The family member described Bredo as a “psycho sociopath,” and alleged Bredo had previous trouble with the law.

Soldier’s family hurt

In Prince George, Bredo is best known for his involvement with the family of fallen soldier Cpl. Matthew McCully.

Bredo, then using the name Baba, pledged $10,000 of his own money to start the Matthew McCully Foundation in October, 2007.

In August, 2008 the McCullys came forward to say Bredo left them with surprise bills of about $2,300 they had to pay for themselves after a theatre performance was held and a gala dinner was planned then canceled with only days notice.

“Things happened, all in the name of our foundation, that muddied the name of a Canadian hero, my son, who gave his life in service for our country,” Ron McCully told the Citizen in 2008. “We feel embarrassed, ashamed, and we don’t know what to do to get back on track.”

One of the chief concerns of the McCully family was the belief they had been given by Bredo, who was leading the arrangements for the gala dinner, that the guest of honour was going to be then-Governor General Michalle Jean. They were alerted by the RCMP that no security orders, which would always accompany a visit by the governor general, had been made for the visit.

Bredo told The Citizen at the time that he would be happy to help tie up any loose ends back in Prince George, like the alleged bills.

“I have been made aware of that as well, and steps are being taken to look into that and rectify those situations,” he said. “I am still gathering information myself and if there were communication errors, or errors at all, they will be recognized and taken care of immediately.”

The McCully’s came forward after seeing Bredo on television in Calgary promising to pledge $10,000 to launch an anti-crime initiative called Stand Up Calgary.

The movement was an echo of the unsuccessful Stand Up Prince George movement which Bredo attempted to launch in August, 2007. Bredo said the goal to was to take action and show civic leadership on issues like crime and poverty in the city.

Political animal

Bredo first appeared in the press in October 2001 as the local spokesperson for the local Young Liberals of Canada. Bredo, then 16, was attending College Heights secondary school.

In June, 2004 Bredo worked as a campaign employee for Conservative MP Dick Harris. Later that year Bredo and others raised allegations that Harris had engaged in improprieties during the party’s candidate selection process, including an alleged scheme to procure federal government money for bogus service contracts.

RCMP investigated the allegations and cleared Harris of wrongdoing.

In June, 2009 Calgary mayoral candidate George Dadamo pulled his name from the running after the Calgary Herald revealed Bredo’s past. Dadamo, a former Ontario New Democrat, had hired as Bredo as his executive assistant.

In August, 2010 The Cranbrook Daily Townsman reported Bredo, using the name Josh Chartier, had surfaced there working for federal Conservative nominee David Wilks.

Wilks said he hired Bredo to work on his campaign briefly, but was left holding the bill for signs, pictures and a website he didn’t realize Bredo had created.

Earlier that month, the City of Cranbrook had issued a press release stating the city had no affiliation with a pair of events Bredo was promoting in the city.

“Be it known, the corporation of the City of Cranbrook, Mayor Scott Manjak, members of council and city administration have no affiliation with this individual in any way and have provided no endorsement (implied or otherwise) for his business activities and solicitation,” the statement said.

Bredo has operated several businesses including Pacific Media Group and Baba Media Communications





 Killing suspect jolted many lives

A gritty trail of lies and bad feelings emerges amid a tragedy that claimed a passionate guitarist

Sandra McCulloch and Kathryn Burnham, Times Colonist; With Files From Postmedia News
Published: Saturday, August 06, 2011

Joshua Tyler Bredo, arrested as a suspect in the of killing 20-year-old Daniel Jordan Levesque at a Cormorant Street condo, has scorched a trail of lies and bad feelings with many people who have crossed his path, including politicians and family members in Prince George.

Bredo, 26, has a number of aliases and a history of money troubles, said Steve Head, who is married to the mother of Bredo's father.

Bredo's mother has remarried and lives in Alberta. He has a brother and sister.

"He hasn't had anything to do with family for years," said Head, from Prince George.

"It's much easier on your whole life not to be involved with him."

The last time Head was asked about Bredo was when he ran into trouble assisting a candidate for mayor in Calgary.

In 2009, Bredo was briefly employed as an assistant to George Dadamo, formerly an Ontario MPP who was running for Calgary mayor. Bredo misled Dadamo as to his connections with a major oilpatch player. Dadamo fired Bredo and later dropped out of the mayoral race.

Then, a couple of years ago and out of the blue, Bredo was on the phone to his grandmother.

"I said 'Don't give him any money,' " Head said.

"The whole family's glad to be rid of him because he's a real bad con artist."

Head said he was told that Bredo was in Victoria working for the tourism ministry.

But there is no listing for a Bredo in the online government directory.

Bredo is also known by other aliases across B.C. and Alberta, including Joshua Baba, Joshua Chartier and Josh Mitchell.

Former Sparwood mayor David Wilks, who ran and won the nomination for Conservative MP for Kootenay-Columbia, was left with the bill for campaign items he hadn't planned to order.

Joshua Chartier had offered his services for the campaign in the summer of 2010, but left when he learned that Wilks was formerly an RCMP officer.

Chartier, and his aliases, was well known in that area in August 2010 for unauthorized solicitation of funds for the City of Cranbrook. This led the city to release a warning about him.

He ran afoul of the Wildrose Alliance political party in Alberta, the father of a Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan, and two Prince George business owners, mostly for unkept promises and outstanding bills.

Levesque's family in Revelstoke is trying to come to grips with his sudden death.

"His passion was music and he did some recording," said his grandmother, Michelle Levesque.

"He was a good little guitar player. His dream was to be a musician and play in a band.

"He had so many dreams and now they're snuffed out."

In Victoria, Levesque could be found playing the open mic night Tuesdays at Baja Surf Grill.

"Everybody liked him, so he wouldn't stop playing," said manager Dan Elliot.

He was a regular customer who went in for tacos and a beer or rum and coke, often accompanied by Bredo.

"They seemed like best friends," Elliot said.

Levesque worked for Bredo in some capacity, said Michelle. Bredo told Levesque his parents were lawyers and owned the high-end condo on Cormorant Street where Levesque was stabbed on Wednesday.

Levesque was taken to hospital where he died. Bredo was also taken to hospital; he was later released into the custody of police.

Michelle said she and her grandson had chatted online about Bredo.

"Daniel was telling me one time 'He gives me everything and he loves me.' I said 'What kind of love?' and he started laughing and said 'Don't worry, Grandma, he's got a girlfriend.' "

The last time she saw Levesque was June 1, when she said goodbye to him at Revelstoke airport.

Daniel was expected to be back for a visit in a few weeks, with airline tickets being bought by Bredo.

Bredo's next court appearance is scheduled for Aug. 18.

© Times Colonist (Victoria) 2011




 Victim was a friend, a budding musician

By Erin Cardone - Victoria News
Published: August 09, 2011 11:00 AM
Updated: August 09, 2011 11:45 AM

Hundreds of people gathered at a memorial to remember a young man killed in Victoria – just three months after he arrived in B.C.’s capital.

Daniel Jordan Levesque, 20, died from fatal wounds after an incident on the evening of Aug. 3. Joshua Tyler Bredo, 26, of Victoria, who was also in the condo that evening, was arrested and faces a possible murder charge. Crown counsel has yet to approve that charge. His next court date is Aug. 18.

At about 5 p.m. on Aug. 3, someone from the Corazon apartment building at 732 Cormorant St. called 911. Police and paramedics attended the scene. Levesque and Bredo were both rushed to Victoria General Hospital with unknown wounds, where Levesque, 20, later died from his injuries.

The incident was initially reported as a double-stabbing but is now being considered an altercation. The cause of Levesque’s death has not been determined but it is still being investigated as a homicide, said Const. Mike Russell of the Victoria police.

Russell called the scene “chaotic” when officers arrived. Initially, police had difficulties gaining access to the building, due to its security system. Eventually, a resident leaving the building let officers inside.

In the suite, both men were bleeding. Levesque was in critical condition. Bredo was in serious condition, but was conscious. He was released from hospital later that night and was transferred directly to police custody.

Russell said, “We don’t have any indication of motive right now. Our officers are waiting to interview this male and see where the investigation goes from there.”

Russell couldn’t confirm whether weapons were found in the suite, or what might have been used in the attack.

The memorial was held in Revelstoke on Friday – the community where Levesque grew up.

Levesque was a first-born child who was “quite loved and spoiled by everybody,”  his mother Stacey Thur said in an interview. She described him as a “sweet little boy, very smart for his age, way beyond his years, talked a mile-a-minute, very chatty and friends with everybody.”

He was also one of the funniest people she knew. “He always made me laugh,” she said.

“Everybody loved him,” she told Black Press. “He was full of compassion and caring and he was loyal to a fault.”

For Thur, Levesque’s death is doubly hard to take; this is the second son she has lost. “I buried his brother 16 years ago. I wasn’t ready to bury another one.”

Music was always a big part of his life. He could sing before he could talk, his mother recalled, and once his report card from swimming lessons said, “Daniel needs to sing less and swim more.”

“Ever since I first met him he’s always been playing guitar,” said one of his best friends, Julian Romeo.

“He would always play the mom role, making sure we were all being safe” Romeo said. “He got me out of trouble a lot of times.”

Thur last saw Levesque last Sunday, just days before his death and she said life was going well for Levesque in Victoria. He recently had a piece of poetry published in Scratch Magazine and performed live around the city, including at the Baja Surf Grill on Yates Street.

The day of his death, he started a new job with a local law firm that would allow him to stay in the city he was starting to love, she said.




 

Candidate pulls out of mayoral race

KATIE SCHNEIDER

First posted: Saturday, June 13, 2009 03:56 AM MDT | Updated: Saturday, June 13, 2009 03:58 AM MDT

Just three days after announcing he was running for mayor, George Dadamo is pulling out of the race.
The former Ontario NDP MPP announced his candidacy for the city's top job Tuesday, but decided to halt his bid for mayor in the 2010 election because of controversy surrounding the 24-year-old man he made his assistant, Josh Bredo, who also went by the name Joshua Baba.
Among other controversies, Bredo has been accused of swindling money from an Ontario man whose son died in Afghanistan after never delivering on a promise to kickstart the foundation in the young soldier's name.
Dadamo learned of the accusations Tuesday, the day he announced his candidacy.
"I trusted him like a son and all of a sudden this broke loose," Dadamo said.
He said the best decision was just to pull out of the mayoral race before the campaign was damaged.
"There's information people will hold on to as we fundraise or knock on doors," he said.
"I don't want to carry his burden on my shoulders."

 Arthur WILLIAMS
Citizen staff
awilliams@pgcitizen.ca
A former Prince George man with a shady history is the key suspect in the stabbing death of a 20-year-old man in Victoria, according to two B.C. media outlets.
The Victoria Times-Colonist and Vancouver Sun have reported Joshua Tyler Bredo aka Joshua Baba aka Josh Chartier aka Josh Mitchell, 26, is the key suspect in the death of Daniel Jordan Levesque, 20, of Saanich. The newspapers did not cite the source of their information. The Victoria Police Department confirmed they have a 26-year-old man in custody regarding the case, but had not laid charges as of press time. Police report the suspect is expected to appear in court on Aug. 18. Police were called to an apartment in the 700-block of Cormorant Street in Victoria on Wednesday shortly after 5 p.m. There, police found Levesque and the suspect both suffering from stab wounds. Levesque was in critical condition and died at Victoria General Hospital. The suspect was treated at the hospital for serious injuries and released into police custody Wednesday night. Calls to Bredo’s family in Prince George were not returned as of press time. However, one family member, who agreed to speak anonymously, said Bredo has been estranged from his family for years. The family member described Bredo as a “psycho sociopath,” and alleged Bredo had previous trouble with the law. Soldier’s family hurt In Prince George, Bredo is best known for his involvement with the family of fallen soldier Cpl. Matthew McCully. Bredo, then using the name Baba, pledged $10,000 of his own money to start the Matthew McCully Foundation in October, 2007. In August, 2008 the McCullys came forward to say Bredo left them with surprise bills of about $2,300 they had to pay for themselves after a theatre performance was held and a gala dinner was planned then canceled with only days notice. “Things happened, all in the name of our foundation, that muddied the name of a Canadian hero, my son, who gave his life in service for our country,” Ron McCully told the Citizen in 2008. “We feel embarrassed, ashamed, and we don’t know what to do to get back on track.” One of the chief concerns of the McCully family was the belief they had been given by Bredo, who was leading the arrangements for the gala dinner, that the guest of honour was going to be then-Governor General Michalle Jean. They were alerted by the RCMP that no security orders, which would always accompany a visit by the governor general, had been made for the visit. Bredo told The Citizen at the time that he would be happy to help tie up any loose ends back in Prince George, like the alleged bills. “I have been made aware of that as well, and steps are being taken to look into that and rectify those situations,” he said. “I am still gathering information myself and if there were communication errors, or errors at all, they will be recognized and taken care of immediately.” The McCully’s came forward after seeing Bredo on television in Calgary promising to pledge $10,000 to launch an anti-crime initiative called Stand Up Calgary. The movement was an echo of the unsuccessful Stand Up Prince George movement which Bredo attempted to launch in August, 2007. Bredo said the goal to was to take action and show civic leadership on issues like crime and poverty in the city. Political animal Bredo first appeared in the press in October 2001 as the local spokesperson for the local Young Liberals of Canada. Bredo, then 16, was attending College Heights secondary school. In June, 2004 Bredo worked as a campaign employee for Conservative MP Dick Harris. Later that year Bredo and others raised allegations that Harris had engaged in improprieties during the party’s candidate selection process, including an alleged scheme to procure federal government money for bogus service contracts. RCMP investigated the allegations and cleared Harris of wrongdoing. In June, 2009 Calgary mayoral candidate George Dadamo pulled his name from the running after the Calgary Herald revealed Bredo’s past. Dadamo, a former Ontario New Democrat, had hired as Bredo as his executive assistant. In August, 2010 The Cranbrook Daily Townsman reported Bredo, using the name Josh Chartier, had surfaced there working for federal Conservative nominee David Wilks. Wilks said he hired Bredo to work on his campaign briefly, but was left holding the bill for signs, pictures and a website he didn’t realize Bredo had created. Earlier that month, the City of Cranbrook had issued a press release stating the city had no affiliation with a pair of events Bredo was promoting in the city. “Be it known, the corporation of the City of Cranbrook, Mayor Scott Manjak, members of council and city administration have no affiliation with this individual in any way and have provided no endorsement (implied or otherwise) for his business activities and solicitation,” the statement said. Bredo has operated several businesses including Pacific Media Group and Baba Media Communications.

Mother's Day

So here it is.  My first Mother's Day without Daniel.  I know it's just another day...but clearly, the unfairness of this past years events are on my heart and mind a bit more today.  Daniel is who made me a mother, first.  He was around for 19 Mother's Days .  I have kept every card and gift I ever got from ALL of my kids, the ones they made in school, the ones they picked out on their own.  All of them mean the world to me. I wish I was brave enough to look at them....

For those who didn't know Daniel well, he was very non materialistic in a lot of ways.  He didn't like the "hoopla" of marketing.  He didn't like how commercialism kind of took away from what really mattered in most holidays.  I can almost hear him now getting up on his soap box and preaching about how silly it is to pick a special day to appreciate all the moms in the world because "we should appreciate them everyday!!", he would say in his strong , lecture voice.  haha ... his friends who read this will know exactly what I am talking about.

But the true fact was, Daniel was a big mush pot when it came to me.  And contrary to how I may have come across in my last post...Daniel did love me very much.  I knew it, he always told me.

(NOTE: I was super angry last time I posted and what I was really trying to get across was the fact that I am having a really hard time with my OWN regret and shame, not that Daniel EVER made me feel badly.  His love for me was unconditional, I just look back now and wish things had gone smoother in our sometimes chaotic life together)

Anyway, Daniel did love Mother's Day....Last year I received from him the most beautiful gift.  He asked to spend some time with me that day.  We had a short visit because we both worked but he sat in my car and he handed me a small piece of paper, all folded up perfectly.  It looked like a note you would pass in class (not that I ever did that haha).  He said to me "Mum, I love you so much, and it doesn't take a day that some earthly greeting card maker made up to tell you.  I wanted to get you something you would treasure.  So I wrote you a poem.  Plus...I am kinda broke :) "

Well...that poem.  It took me a day or so to read it if you can believe.  I knew I would cry, and I did.  And he was right, I do treasure it.  And always will.  This is the poem.

Mother

Like the moon decides, ocean tides

So a mother creates the character of "I"

My Mum's sweet love has made me a man

I was cherished from the day I was held in hand.

To my Mum I owe strength, wisdom and love

and the knowledge of God and Heaven above

Though our view of the world may differ or vary,

I will always have my mother to care for me

Beautiful words from a beautiful child.  He sums us up perfectly, and indeed a bit prophetic.  It was just like all the stars were aligning, even then, the end was so near.  Neither of us knew it...but we almost did.

Daniel's good friend Jackson had those words, in Daniel's replicated handwriting tattooed on his side.  It's beautiful and so touching.

It makes me so happy to see how much all of Daniel's friends love their mothers.  It's so obvious.  They make no secret of it, and that's just as it should be.

So many of them even messaged me or called today, knowing how much it would mean to me, and to him.  They really are an amazing bunch of young people.  I am so blessed. 

To all of the other mothers who are living through Mother's Day with a baby in heaven, God bless you.  It's not the same....our hearts are not yet healed and this " earthly greeting card maker's" idea of a special day for us, is just another reminder of how much we wish we could turn back time, and relive last May, because our life was a lot less broken then....

One More Time

It’s an overstatement for any parent to go on and on about how much they love their children.  It is a fact that, fortunately for mankind in general, most parents love and care for their children.   For if we didn’t, the world would be in an even bigger mess than it sometimes seems to be.  It did not take Daniel’s death to make me realize just how much he meant to me, because I truthfully always knew how deep and vast my love is for that boy who changed my life.  By sparing you all the many details surrounding Daniel’s birth, I can honestly write about how more than anything I wished for Daniel to grow to be a healthy well adjusted man, despite my many mistakes, and my own faults.  I believe that I really did do a good job.  He was so many things to so many people, a kind and generous soul who was happy to lend an ear, a dollar or a hug to anyone who needed it.  I am still very VERY proud for what Daniel became in his short 20 years and like it has been said over and over in this blog, his death has left a hole so deep, no amount of time, or happiness will ever fill it up. 

What has happened is that my shortcomings, as a human being, and a mother are right in front of my face at every quiet moment I have.  Even after 9 months, I still feel the searing pain of some of the hard times I had with Daniel while he was growing up, and most certainly, they weren’t always his mistakes.  I admit that I did not know Daniel’s every facet of life.  There  were things he did and felt that he definitely kept from me.  Some, probably out of shame, for he knew how I would feel, and some out of love because he never wanted to be the cause of any more tears than I had already had.   I say here and now that I most certainly expected too much from Daniel.  He was “the man” of the house for a lot of years and even though I didn’t intentionally make him take that role, it was his role nonetheless.  I also put many restrictions on Daniel as a teenager.  Some that I look back on now and wish I could have maybe let up a bit so that he didn’t always feel like he was failing….struggling to be who HE wanted to be, and having me perceive that he was something else.  I wasn’t dumb.  I knew that when my watchful eye wasn’t directly on him that he was doing things that I didn’t like.  All kids do, and will continue to do.  But maybe I didn’t have to be so angry at times, for his short comings, after all, he ALWAYS forgave mine. 

One thing I know Daniel learned from me was the ability to, after one of our blow outs, be able to take responsibility for his part in our disagreements, as I tried my best to do the same.  We were always good like that.  I didn’t want him to be perfect, I just wanted him to be a good person.

I also admit that I was not always aware of Daniel’s emotional trials.  His being torn between the “worldy life” and the rules I had set for him.  He and I had a very dark time for a few long months when he was in high school.  He so desperately wanted to be a man.  Be 19 when he was 16.  I remember telling him how he had “lots of time” to do all the things he wanted when he was older…”please Daniel, just be a kid!!”  It was hard for him.  Right or wrong, instilled in his heart was a faith that could move mountains and through all the difficult times, he felt compelled to want to be more.

What compounds the grief of losing a child (or 2) is trying to come to terms with the regret and the sorrow of arguments passed.  I find it hard at times living with myself knowing that I am a better mother to Joel and Lainey because I know a bit more about life itself, than I did when Daniel was their age.  I know that I did the best that I could.  And I loved him more than anything.  I loved him MORE than I love myself, and I always told him that.

The day that he was leaving for Victoria he had an almost prophetic conversation with me.  Sitting in my car as I drove him to Arrow Heights to give Lainey a goodbye hug, he said to me…

“Mum, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, about how I was as a kid.  And I want to say I am sorry.  I am sorry I worried you and let you down. I want you to know how thankful I am that you mothered me so strictly because I would not have made it without you.  Please think about your restrictions with Joel as he enters his late teen years.  Always remember that he is not me.  And you don’t have to worry as much about him.  He’s a good kid Mum.  Don’t smother him” 

To which I sweetly replied “Daniel, you were never a bad kid, and I am truly sorry for not understanding you the way you wished I had.  I only wanted best for you and I love you so much.”

We cried and hugged and agreed that we had both grown.  And forgiveness was ours.  What a moment.  Imagine having that conversation a short 7 weeks before you would never see each other again.  Prophetic…necessary, and loving.

Make no mistake, aside from the sometimes wild acts of partying and living it up that Daniel hid from me, we were as close as any parent and child could be.  We were similar people, and we were madly in love.  There wasn’t anything either one of us wouldn’t do for each other…and there still isn’t.

As you read this you can easily tell that it’s not been the best of times, as the clock ticks, and the calendar flips, and there is no real closure with Daniel’s murder.  I sometimes lay in bed wide awake wondering how any person close to the coward responsible for Daniel’s death, can themselves sleep at night.  Why is their life allowed to continue without a second thought? While our world has caved in, and we are digging through all the rubble left behind.  Some may say it’s not his parents fault, or his siblings but guess what….Steven cries EVERYDAY for his precious son!  I am rocked to the core with grief and anxiety every day…for my son.  Daniel’s brother and sister’s lives have been FOREVER altered…at the hands of someone who thinks he has got away with murder.  Well, I have news for all of them.  It’s not over. 

I cannot predict how the law is going to handle this person.  I cannot say if there will be a trial or not.  I cannot say that there will ever be any accountability for his actions but I do know this, We WILL have justice for our son.  We WILL NOT stop fighting for Joshua Bredo to be punished for Daniel’s death.  And we WILL NOT lie down and let evil win.  Be it on this earth or not, fate will have it so that we will be heard.  Daniel will be heard.  His story will be told and we will survive.

I guess I didn’t mean to be so angry today and maybe what I am trying to get across is that this is REALLY hard.  I need to forgive myself for the mistakes I made with Daniel, because he forgave me.  I also know that being a parent is easily the hardest job on this earth, but loving our kids is the easiest one.  I know Daniel knew how much I loved him, it was never in question, I just wish I could tell him One…More…Time…